We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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