I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Too much gin, very little bucket
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize