Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
