Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
