Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
