I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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