handjob tips. give me some.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
