I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
