You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize