Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
