She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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