Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
you made out with another girl for some wings
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
