Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize
