Whod you bang
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My dick has a subreddit
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
