You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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