For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
no you cant smoke seaweed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
