We're facebook friends in real life
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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