He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
