i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
