Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
even my farts smell like vagina
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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