What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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