I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
