He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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