I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
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