Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
