so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
