why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
