Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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