whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
