my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
