i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
