do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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