the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
