Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
