Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
