Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
