yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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