you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize