The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
