doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize