We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
