A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
