i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize