RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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