I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
