WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize