How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
