WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
