I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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