I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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