'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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