So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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