Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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