walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
