I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
