it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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