she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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