what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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