I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
